So yeah. I found this and I like this piece.
This bit, especially…‘Psychology reveals that the gentle elder and the bitter one didn’t simply inherit different personalities—they made different choices about their grief. How we process our losses throughout life directly determines the person we become. The divergence between softening and hardening with age reflects accumulated choices about emotional honesty. Understanding this offers younger people a powerful insight: gentleness isn’t something that happens to you with age. It’s something you build, choice by choice, by meeting your grief rather than fleeing it.’