Update: The other side of a long tunnel can be an occasion to reflect, and think clearly about what it was tht inspired a person to make a dive into the deep, twisting, dark thing that was an ‘I don’t know, but let me see’ exploration for about 11 years. The picture here was from Expat 2, which had followed the one at Mad Hatter’s, after which I wrote the little reflection below.
Published first in S P A C E
DK hosted EXPAT last night in Durham. Below is a reaction.
THE DIVIDE BETWEEN THE MUNDANE AND SPECIFIC jumps to light in the eye of a newcomer: “What is the deal with pimiento cheese in Durham?” “Ziploc bags in Belarus?” Asked a guest, last night in Durham. A good mix. A good vibe. And some thoughts, coming up out of nowhere…
All journeying begins with an internal boredom–not finding sensual intrigue in the subjects and objects of our everyday routines. But even as we lengthen our roots in a new country, we develop sensors that dull what once confused or delighted–ears that now hear the content of a once-foreign language. The bus women’s dialogues now mercilessly bore.
And again, the eye and ear grow restless. The heart is hungry for new intrigue. It searches the horizon, then clip!, darts fast without thinking towards it. A constant quest for the new. Relationships. Cities. Persons we become. And so the mechanism that drives the expat to leave is one and selfsame: a lust for change. When the romance of the present loses color, wearies us, we press a new button, hoping presto! for a brand new shade of mystery and allure.
The Shedding
BUT IN EACH SEARCH there is a pelt of shed ‘certainty’—a molting of convictions. We wean ourselves from the false truth our ways are Right. We call into question our very core identities: but why am I so offended now? But how is it that she is making me reconsider? When we are in sharp juxtaposition, and in the overwhelming minority, a body of ideals and long-held truths stand naked. Some look ill. And so we leave these skins.
“Perhaps this is our strange and haunting paradox here in America—that we are fixed and certain only when we are movement.”
SHADOWS FALL AND FAIL US in the breast of a new morn, when the particles of an old self realign, reconfigure, repackage themselves in the court of this, the unknown’s curtain coyly lifted. But barely, like a trace of dark chocolate in unfamiliar liquor. At once we know it is the asking of the question that delivers us here, at the gate between worlds, where we gather and store impressions for the inner eye—Wordsworth’s “bliss of solitude.” This nowhere land is a dressing room that gelatins and froths with new light, hue, style, scent, and fervor which we carouse–but in the stately mirror, it is the face that remains unchanged. —DK
// Here is the post announcing the guests //
WELCOME TO WONDERLAND: TODAY at Mad Hatter’s
Stuart Albert, Tara Connolly and John Florin are guest speakers for EXPAT. TONIGHT at Mad Hatter’s in Durham, DK invites you to tea and conversation. EXPAT is our second roundtable in the Triangle, and we’re excited to welcome three guest speakers.
- Stuart Albert will share his thoughts on life in Japan, and how it shapes his life here now.
- Tara Connolly can tell young folks how to book yourself a round the world trip after college.
- And, long-time University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill Geography professor John Florin is “delighted” to join the discussions.
Open, informal, and free. Bring questions and stories, too.
EXPAT
Thursday, June 23
7-9 pm
Mad Hatter’s Bakeshop & Cafe
1802 W. Main St, Durham
more information & RSVP link
2 thoughts on “Welcome to Wonderland: TODAY at Mad Hatter’s”
Asha Vie says:
.comment-author June 23, 2011 at 10:10 am
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.comment-meta Sounds like a great event thank you for sharing! Supporting gatherings and conversation are the qualities I cherish in you both! Miss you in Seattle, hope all is treating you well in North Carolina!
Akira says:
.comment-author June 27, 2011 at 12:56 pm
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.comment-meta Thanks Asha (/Ashley, right?)! I miss the coffee shops (perfect for these gatherings) but Durham’s treating us well. Hope things are well with you:)