100 Conversations · Papers

S P A C E | ‘Ready for anything’

Today we share a story that will be published in a July issue of S P A C E. ‘Ready for Anything’ was written by Anonymous in response to a prompt that was part of our May series of ‘Papers’. ‘Papers’ took place over email and in asynchronous, international conversation threads. Anonymous, author of the below, wrote the following in reply to a prompt called ‘Arrivals.’ With permission, we publish it here for you..


‘This prompt is actually not abstract at all,’ writes Anonymous. ‘This “arrival” thing, for a long time, became my most problematic concept that forced me to form a very solid protocol to deal with it…


‘And I think this can be one of the most important life skills that’s worth sharing and talking about!,’ Anonymous continues. ‘Thank you for inviting me to such an important talk!  I have been quite stressed these days so hopefully it doesn’t sound too depressing.’


Ready for anything
by Anonymous


I.
Calibration:
‘How am I feeling?’



So, the very first thing I do when something’s coming, is to check myself out.
To see if I’m in the state of “Subhuman”:that is, one in which you experience low arousal level, low motivation, and a disconnected mindset. Sub-human is inevitable, and it’s not always a bad thing. It’s just a sign that’s telling me that my body and mind are “not ready”. When I discover that, yes in fact I am in this state, I know what to do. I should be relaxing, nursing my health, and even enjoy the moment as it usually is the post-satisfaction effect.



If I have to do something, I’ll choose what I’ve already known how to do, with almost zero creative thinking. And most importantly, AVOID the arrival of those sorts of things that can expose me to unexpected forces. I know to sidestep them because it’s very clear to me that when I’m in this state, I definitely won’t have any energy at all, not even to feel the best news.


If any surprise arrives at this time, which is the exact wrong time for that to happen, then I will have to take a pretty direct and concrete measure in order to correct course. That is, I will have to execute a specific non-sleep-deep-rest (NSDR)session and/or using other stimulants in order to get out of the Subhuman Zone as fast as possible, before moving forward with any action, real thinking or important planning.
Else, the Sub-human will consider every news as bad news, and do destructive things in an attempt to try to remove everything and anything that it thinks causes “bad news”. Here is how I prep. Right before the arrival happens, I use all of my willpower to drag my expectations to the lowest level that is possible. That will prevent dopamine crashing, which would instantly bring me back to the Subhuman state again.

II.
Evaluation:
‘What’s best for me, right now?’


The next step is to seek counsel, within. 
As my Personalities wake up, I can deal with arrivals many different ways, depending on what it is,  and its relation to my current context. If the news goes against my flow, but requires me to do something, or change something; that means we have a pretty big problem. 

So I will summon all of my Personalities to form a council and execute a “Problem Solving” protocol, including many continuous sessions of writing, thinking, sacrificing… so as to tackle this challenge, and with the aim of generating an optimized solution. If the news blends well with my context–like this prompt comes just as I’m studying a neuroscience learning curve– then I can allow myself to act positively, let it tweak my behavior a little bit, and even allow it to let me change a few sessions on my schedule, as it shouldn’t affect the bigger vector.



III.
Towards blankness


If the news is not on my way, but interesting, and doesn’t force me to do anything, then there’s another tack. Depending on how good it is, and how far it is, related to my context, I will put it aside as “influence” or “potential project”. This usually comes up as I scroll through random online media, or consume my favorite offline media, and my mind just renders out ideas from that.
As I eliminate distraction for the sake of tight focus on my immediate, current project, Ideas from the media later will always compete for concern, as I search for it. I manage my youtube feed tightly, and my facebook loosely; to make sure they will support my growth instead of blunting it. I hope that explains why I’m saying ‘no’ much more than ‘yes’ when being invited to someone else’s project.

I plan out every hour in a day to be disciplined in my education, and to make a relatively long to-do list come true. I would have to quit my job, my growth, and my personal ideas to be involved in teamwork projects, no matter how much I like it. For now, it’s risky, for everything I have.



For those interested in finding out more about what sorts of personal ideas that list might include, Anonymous recommends several courses if you are inclined to teach yourself how to do things, and learn online, because everything is ‘just there.’ For those interested in teaching themselves things online, for free, Anonymous suggests this site called ‘online courses club’. Interesting! More soon, about DK’s new project, an online gallery. Watch this… S P A C E.

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