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What makes relationships successful? ‘Inquiry before judgment’

From: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rediscovering-love/202109/9-qualities-the-most-successful-relationships

 

 On the website Psychology Today, ‘ Randi Gunther Ph.D., writes:

Successful partners do not assume, guess, or come to conclusions about the other’s thoughts and behaviors without checking with each other as to the accuracy of their assumptions. They have learned that rapid reactions said in defense will not result in any meaningful resolution so they commit to asking for more clarity before they respond.

[Some] relationships not only survive but thrive over time. They all share the same core. The partners treasure each other’s experience of life and each other.

Many relationships break up because incorrect assumptions of another’s motives trigger mistrust, even when it is not warranted. Even people who have been together for many years mistake the other’s reasons or build-ups and react as if they know enough to respond accurately.

When either partner cannot take the time to make room for the entirety of the other before they react, the other partner over time will pull away, withhold, and sometimes disconnect. Everyone changes over time, and continuous reevaluation of the other partner can put a halt to those potential and often unnecessary damages.